On Screen

I'm still listening to: "Vanilla Twilight" - Owl City

news:

Auditions have been flooding in, so amazing to see the great talent. What is even more awesome is everyone that has emailed me so far as very moved by being a part of something important, something bigger. It's amazing to find that there are still amazing passionate people in America.

My wife and I were watching a film last night.....really can't remember the name. Well let me start over. A few days ago, it was time to move Freedom into her crib, so she could begin to sleep in her own bed. This was really hard for amy and I. Being 20 steps away was like some sort of separation, I still hate every moment of it. So the only way this was possible was to buy one of those crappy baby monitor things. But we really wanted to see her, so we got one that had a screen, and it sits on our night stand so we can see and hear here.

Well during the moving.....State of Play, that was it. We both have to watch it again, because we found that during the whole move we kept asking each other what happened, cause we were always looking at her baby monitor screen. Our TV in our room is a 57" Samsung HD, amazing TV (come on, a I'm film director), it has an amazing picture, and we rarely watch anything that isn't in HD, I mean why would you.

I just think its interesting that depsite our glorious TV, and the amazing talent of Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck and others all displayed in HD....what kept our attention, was the crappy, heave small 4inch CRT(not LCD) baby monitor....

It really made me think...As a film director and producer, the image, and quality is really important to us. We shoot with these RED cameras that are so amazing, with these expensive microphones and huge productions...But when its all said and done.....its whats on the screen that matters.

Story is King.

Forget the budget and all the production value that will go into this project, I want people to be moved by the story of the film, the interviews from the documentary, and the camp. I want people to be moved by people, by what they are seeing. It's all about whats on screen, and I know Hollywood has forgotten that. I usually find myself watching films and I think "this film was absolutely horrible, how did it make it in theaters". Well hollywood is very different than C&I Studios. T hey only look at what is marketable, and what will sell, thats it. Nothing else really matters. For us, we care about making something that other will want to see, but we are way more interested in doing this project to reach out beyond ourself, and speak for a group of people who have no voice....We are way more interested in using our acting, directing, producing, and cinematography talents for something more than a quick buck. And we can't wait to put these moments on the screen.

Feel Alive Again

I'm listening to: "Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City (on my iPhone)

Our MacPro (Counte Mondego) is installing Snow Leopard right now, so I can't open up iTunes, thank god for the iPhone. (remember when we all got on the bus, went to school, got back on the bus, got off at our bus stop and walked home....all without cell phones....I swear the technology is killing our minds...maybe i'll read a newspaper today and play MathBlasters (remember that game)...my sister would be proud of me....unless its the sun-sentinel that I read.

I'm still getting adjusted to this new work environment. After many long talks with my wife, my sidekick (freedom) my managers (mom+dad), and my partners we have decided to finally let C&I Studios be my full time job. I'm looking forward to see what the future holds. I gotta tell you, its not easy. It's not easy cause its not safe, its not secure. And it really requires us to put our faith and our trust in something bigger...

It's only been a week so far and things have been working out well, thanks for all the emails from all of you. I feel really supported. Thanks Windy, Brad, mom and dad, and...mom and dad, Zachariah, Sarah, and Isaac

Some news:

Zachariah drives to Philly tomorrow to pick up some new equipment. Please let me know if there a good restaurant up there that he should check out on the way.

The Owl City show is coming up really soon, and we are excited to shoot that. Its been in the works for a long time.

I'll be in DC a lot in September, so if you are reading this from MD or the District, let me know, so we can have a midnight conversation.

Onto my friend-Where You Are. We have set the auditions for October 24th, 2009 at the DC Arts Center. So if you know of good serious actors, tell them shoot us their info, here is my email: contact@c-istudios.com

This is a big step for us, really reaching out to find the right people to play these characters who are already full of life. I love what we are doing. Ya know, sometimes, everything doesn't make sense. Sometimes life is just life. I just think when you believe in something, just go after it, and never quit. Ever. It has been a crazy marathon so far, and its been hard, but beautiful at the same time. I don't have a "real job" now. Who says I need one? I love how I feel like I'm really living, spending more time with my sidekick and my wife. Oh bills....ha....sadly they don't care that I don't have a real job...they keep coming for some reason. If anyone knows how to stop them, let me know. We can make a film about it :)

A big part of C&I Studios is our work, our corporate and creative work. We have always shot, and edited for companies (commercials, promos, events, that sort of thing). Now that is the bulk of what we do now. And we are excited that the more we do, the more we will be able to put in to our creative projects like Where You Are, and many many more films/shows/podcasts. So its been awesome to get out of the long line, and start our own.....do something different.

I wish you could see who we've become....

When violet eyes get brighter, And heavy wings grow lighter , I'll taste the sky and feel alive again , And I'll forget the world that I knew , But I swear I won't forget you, Oh, if my voice, could reach back through the past , I'd whisper in your ear, Oh darling I wish you were here...

kings to you fernand...

here is a pic of my sidekick grabbing fruit at Publix (no her hands aren't huge, its just that the camera is close, silly....)

This 27 lives for you

I'm listening to: "Cycling Trivalities" by Jose Gonzalez

I lost my job today (yes I had a real job) happened about 1 hour ago.

I have a wife a child who visits the doctor frequently. I live in a great condo on Fort Lauderdale beach. The Honda Element and Hyundai Santa fe are our two vehicles of choice....I can't forget about my beloved Honda Met. Electricity, water, cell phones, internet.....all things we have found to be a necessity. My daughter......and all of her new born expenses....allthough if she were to read this, she would tell you that she is not a newborn anymore. I feel so weird.....this has never happened to me before.....all I can think of is....

Life is beautiful.

So many people in Swaziland and across the globe have it so much worse than I do. Instead of thinking of how they will pay for their amazing lifestyles, they think about how they will find clean water in the next 30 minutes.

Life is beautiful.

I can only be excited about this new chapter.....this fresh season of anticipation and nervousness. I am not alone...I can feel your approach.

Thanks for being our friends.

Broward and US-1

I'm listening to: "Teardrop" by Jose Gonzalez

news:

-C&I got on the twitter train, and we've been making tweets, for the tweeters to see. So yeah...if you are on there, let us know so we can follow you....user name c_istudios

-we are working on a new video for Facebook....top secret stuff...hopefully it will come out soon.

-we have another feature being written this year, as well as a great new podcast. We are doing some cool stuff. Thanks for being our friends.

A few days ago, my friend Susan (who runs the camp/school in Swaziland) returned to her home in Fort Lauderdale, so we hooked up at the local Starbucks on Broward and US-1. It was just awesome. We got a chance to talk. She finally saw pictures of my Freedom, and we talked all about Swaziland and life. So great.

I read a blog earlier by Brad Lewis, about communication, and how he's found that awesome conversations happen usually when are you away from your "usual" surroundings. I totally agree. I think people get caught in the trap of the routine (they don't think they are caught but they are). Literally driving on the same exact roads, walking down the same exact hallways, getting the exact same drink from Starbucks, the same exact sub from Subway, and end up talking to the same exact people. This happens everyday, then we usually wonder why nothing amazing is happening to us....Well from what I see, if we live that sort of life, that isn't really amazing anyway. To get friends, you have to be a friend, the best life lesson I'm re-learning, cause I watch Veggie Tales with my daughter daily. I recommend Veggie Tales especially for people who are too old for it. When was the last time, we planned something, drove somewhere where we didn't know how to get there, and met someone...stood awkwardly wondering when this person will show up. Since we've been down here in Florida, meeting new friends, and forcing ourselves to get out there, has been a very familiar situation.

It was awesome meet up with Susan at Starbucks. She really encouraged me with Where You Are . I do go up and down with this project all the time. Sometimes there is so much good news to spread and other times I get so overwhelmed with the amount of paperwork and planning that I'm doing that I get discouraged. Susan told me that the kids are so excited to meet us. She's been talking with them, and she's says that they are just so pumped and they smile each time they here the name C&I Studios. Thats so awesome. That gave me so much fuel just to imagine their smiles. Some of the women in Stieki (pronounced si-teki) made us some awesome hand made cards. so cool. Then we talked a lot about the film, and the best ways to film it, and work with the people in the town. Its so big. A lot to plan. We had scheduled ourselves to be in Swaziland in October, but that will have to pushed back, sadly....

But she said this to me. She said "Josh sometimes people get so worked up and try to force something to happen, you have to realize that its already happening, maybe not at the speed you want it to" She encouraged me that the kids will be there, and they are waiting for us. I just hope that they won't have to wait so long. But this project isn't about me or my timing, but for now I'll just plan it and continue to dive in the the paperwork and press on like we have the budget that we need, and have more unique conversations with people and build new relationships.

relationships....life is about relationships...and I hope I can be re-taught that lesson over and over every single day.

9855 Days

I'm listening to: "The Burning Bush" by Hans Zimmer

Today is my birthday.

On the calendar I told myself to wake up at 12am and write a blog, but that wasn't happening last night, so here I am at 6:44am. I don't really like my birthday (maybe i'll tell you why someday). I don't really like all the attention and all the focus on me. I also just don't understand why only today it will feel like I have so many friends...when in reality......

Anyway. The only thing I can think of this 27th year is how this year will be someone's last year on this earth. This year I've learned a lot, I really been focusing on learning more about people and communication. My biggest lesson so far this year has been that life is a gift, and I'm not sure why people don't understand that. We make plans in our daily planners, for future days, we set our alarms and schedules, to meet with people, and we plan. We plan like this life is somehow ours...when in reality life has been given to us.

People always say "oh yeah tomorrow isn't promised to us" but we don't really believe that cause our actions don't show that. If we really believed it then we would act like it. Things would be said that have always needed to be said, there would be more hugs, more love, more reconciliation, more kisses. Some would realize that the petty arguments and vows of silence are somehow ridiculous. Life. We write films about life because that is the only thing that matters. And now I've reached the 27th year of my life, and I'm really just thankful. As much of a struggle of Where You Are is....I'm so thankful that I have something to struggle with...some people don't.

Where You Are......I love this film. I love this project. I'm meeting up with Susan sometime today, she runs the organization in Swaziland, and she just got back to Fort Lauderdale, so we are gonna grab coffee and hopefully, talk, laugh, and cry.

Oh, I did want to try and share with you some things that we are do for Where You Are, its not like we are sitting around waiting for it to fall in our laps. We just finished our DIT plan, and for those of you are into Wikipedia you can find out what that is. But Zachariah, my partner, is responsible for one of the biggest tasks on this project, (the footage...aka...the gold), and he just finished writing the plan of how we will store over 12TB of footage and back it all up. So we just finished that, and we are putting that in place now.

That has nothing to do with what I was talking about, but I'm just letting my heart tell the story today, and it just wants to be all over the place right now. I never edit these blogs, I just write them as the hearts wants to say them. I guess you could ask what do I want out of this year? Well, I'm not a fan of making goals, plans, lists...only to not follow through with them. I am a huge fan of accountability. And people sometimes don't realize that when their real friends are telling them something difficult they aren't deciding to be a jerk, they are actually being a real friend. I have two real friends, who are my partners, Zachariah, and Sarah. They keep me accountable, ask me questions, push me, challenge me. Without that, goals would just be letters on a paper. And because of their accountability that is why we move forward. So do a quick check around you, the people in your life that will tell you the truth, which is sometimes not what you wanna hear, the ones that actually will have the rough conversations...those are the ones you wanna hold onto. I'm so blessed to have both Zach and Sarah as my partners, but more importantly, friends.

My birthday wish...has nothing to do with me, but all of us. Its the same wish I have everyday, the wish for Where You Are, for our studio for everything. LIVE life....refuse to get caught up in things that don't really matter....take a day off, visit the beach, visit great falls. Take our your camera out, whip out that paint brush...get behind that keyboard...take your family, and go out, take pictures, have a pinic, watch the sunrise...tell someone that you love them...tell someone that you are in love with them....LIVE life....LIVE life

...by the way, my left leg hurts when I wake up, the right side of my hip stings, I can't sleep through the night without going to the bathroom.......someone tell me body I'm not getting older please.

...and another one

I'm listening to: "Your Love is Strong" by: Jon Foreman

I'm at work right now (yes I have a real job.....for now...gotta do that insurance thing for my girls..) anyway

I work with this guy Alex, who is really cool, has a good heart. 4 minutes ago he asked me if I'm filming anything, or planning anything....baby!...so I got to talk about Where You Are, and he was really captivated and excited about it. I got more excited...

another person just got on the Where You Are train....

My Secret Weapon

I'm listening to: "10 hours" by Warren Barrfield

Some news. Sorry I've been in the shadows. I have problems. But anyways here is some upcoming items for C&I:

8.14.09

C&I Studios has entered into the 48hr film festival in Miami, should be fun. We are always trying to create more and more films (especially shorts, that help our Reach program), hopefully this should turn out well. We are excited about it.

9.12.09

C&I is set to record a live concert with Owl City at the Rock & Roll Hotel in DC. We are really pumped about working with this really talented artist. This project is going to turn out really well.

Where You Are is doing well. I struggle constantly with producing this film. It's so beyond me. And that is a good thing. I know that this film will mean more than them all put together, and not because of how it will be made, but because of the things I've learned.

The biggest thing I've learned about being a filmmaker is that, having an amazing wife is better than any film equipment you could ever have. My wife (amy) is the reason C&I has been successful with everything. I know that people watch our films, and see the amazing quality, good acting, powerful music and all of that, but what most people fail to see is the one woman that powers ever production. How you ask?....Amy is the one that encourages me like no one else in the world to write more. Her gentle back rubs, and much needed massages happen every-time I write a screenplay. She is always the first person to hear the film as an simple idea, she then breathes life into it, by giving me time to write it, and develop it. It's her excitement that carries me often. My wife is a fashion girl, she is also ridiculously hot. She loves shopping, the beach, and having fun, but she also has chosen to fall in love with filmmaking because of me. I don't know many women that would let their husbands take away the living room/family room to put an entire studio in it. And she loves it, supports it. She's honest with me about when something is done well, and when it can be better. And when I feel alone producing anything, sometimes she says absolutely nothing, but just sits right next to me, as I work. I love her...As our films fail....and some of them have....Amy is the one that scrapes up the broken pieces of me and someone assembles them together even stronger than they were before. She teaches me to write again. Dream again...oh I might have failed to mentions that each of our films always cost thosands upon thosands of dollars to make, and Amy's response is always the same.. "babe will do whatever we have to, to make it happen". And she does. She always does.

So when I think about Where You Are, and dreaming about the moment where I pace back and forth in the back of the theatre while others watch this film, know this.... While you are sitting in the seat, glued to the beautiful film canvas, captivated by beauty, know that it was all because this one woman chose to love me in a way that no film could ever capture. I'm no fool. Our studio is blessed to have Amy. Not only putting me in front of her own needs, but putting the studio in front as well.

My wife is love.