Dig Me Out

I'm listening to: "Always" by Switchfoot

Sorry, I haven't written in a while.  I still don't quite feel like I'm home yet.  We have been traveling a lot doing corporate work.  I wanted to talk about that for a second. If we ever mention what we are doing on Facebook, or on this blog, its only because we want you guys to know what we are up to.

During the time in my life when I was working at Camp Sonshine, I guess you could say I was the "popular guy".  I didn't really choose that, it just sorta worked out that way.  Soooo many "friends".  Everyone wanted to know what I was doing...it was weird, and very cool for a teenager.  Years went on like that. Then, I was dating a girl, that all my friends got to know and loved.  Three years later, we had the worst break up of all time I'm sure (doesn't everyone have a break up like that...the worst).  Many things were said, and almost instantly......all those friends were gone....  That popular guy learned how to put armor on, learned to protect himself.  He decided to keep to himself and really figure out who he was.  My years of 22-24 I learned a lot about myself.  So many scars on my heart.  I got to a place where I didn't tell anyone what I was doing.  I always wanted to keep my lips ever so tight.  So, its still tough to talk about what C&I Studios is doing, because I don't want it to ever come across like "hey look at us, we are so busy and so awesome".  We aren't like that, seriously.  It's really just so you know what goes on.  And it is that corporate work, those events/commercials/promos vids that we do and so on, that funds our films, it also funds monthly kids in Nicuragua, Swaziland, Kenya, South Africa, and the Phillipines... In our hearts we just desire peace and love. I'm such a hippie. (that is what our entire family was for Halloween by the way..Hippie's)

Some people know this but I've known Amy for about 9 years.  She came up to Camp Sonshine every year, and she was one of those friends, who stood by me, no matter what happened to me.  And guys aren't that smart...she eventually moved up to Maryland where the camp was, and it was during that time, that we got closer than ever, and it was through her, that she not only began to help heal me, but give me a new strength, and....she would lift me up so high (one tear down my face)  and she taught me how to laugh again. Love

Painful memories in the past are difficult, but the solution isn't putting on armor, being protected... its being free, vulnerable.  Its about having those tough conversations, when you don't want to....Its about learning to wear your scars like medals, like, "look what I have been through, and i'm still breathing".  And man its only though many many many terrible situations, that eventually lead me to crying on the balcony of this house, writing this film we call "Where You Are".

wow this was not the blog I was gonna write...weird...I was gonna write about my friend Brooke Brown...but that is the way it is...i never edit these things...no armor...thanks for being our friends.