Instead of a Show

I'm listening to: "For All We Know" by Further Seems Forever

hey. 

(5minutes just past)

This journey is so hard, but I adore what i'm learning along the way.  About people, about myself.  I wear it on my sleeves.  I wear my emotions in my eyes.  I'm in the airport headed back to Florida.  Standing at Gate #6.  I always fly in and out of Gate #6 in DCA….

I was on the good old Facebook page the other day, and I was looking at other peoples pages. Looking at all the "hey woah look how cool we are" stuff, "be sure to check out our awesome whatever" posts, "we are the best at what we do" updates. And it is almost always positive, upbeat, cool sounding, with a cool link. Do these companies just not struggle? Or they don't want you to think they are struggling…

Well I can't do that.  I wear it on my sleeves.  I have to be honest. I  can't post about how everything is just awesome. I can't post about how Where You Are is just so easy, going smooth.  I just have to be raw.  I don't like fake people.  I think its our worst quality as people.  You know, the people that just say whatever, just to say whatever.  Empty conversations filled with empty words.  I'm not like that.  C&I isn't like that.  When we have something awesome to share, we will share it.  When its tough, I also want you to know about it.  Cause we are doing this thing together, and know one told me about my dreams when I was growing up.  Everyone told me, go after your dreams, think about something you want to do for the rest of your life, something that you love, and do that.  No one told me about the pain, how hard it would be, the sacrifices that I would have to make.  How people don't really flock to you when things are "going well".  Following your dreams requires sacrifice.  Achieving your true purpose in life isn't a pretty romantic comedy.  But don't get the wrong idea, I'm not depressed, and I'm not unmotivated. I've never felt a fire like this ever before…but I want you to trust C&I. Trust that we are doing things differently. What other company will write on their page "we are going through some challenges, but we are working on it".  Find me one and email it to me.  I guess it appears too negative, so people stick with the the traditional, "we are doing so much awesome stuff, we are the best" type of stuff  But this way, when we do post something great, its actually great.  

In the about video that we made, I talked about how we would be open and honest with our fans.  I really meant that, wasn't just saying it cause it sounds genuine. It is genuine. Honesty isn't pretty sometimes, it sounds like an amazing character trait, but sometimes Honestly is tough, it can kill relationships, but I believe it's absolutely necessary. And the times in my life when I wasn't honest, led me to some of my darkest times. 

Always stay positive, always think about what you have, not what you don't have…those are always things that are told to me, and yes I agree. But I'm also going to tell you that staying positive isn't easy.  Shine in the terrible moments, in the awesome moments.  It's not easy. And despite all that is happening, we fight, we grow, we learn.  And the challenges we face with Where You Are will only make it even more beautiful when its done. I can't wait.  I wonder why I just don't quit sometimes, I sure think about it.  But it's because of you, its because whats inside. It's because of the few people in my life, that push me, that tell me to keep going.  Their is no fuel greater than encouragement. I got an awesome email from Windy Marshall the other day, just checking in with me to see who I was, and if there was anything she could do to help….

Fuel.