It's not over, it's never over

I'm listening to: Learning to Breathe by: Switchfoot

Where You Are is not over, our dream isn't over, our missing with C&I isn't over. We are just getting it all together.  Honestly, we haven't had a lot of luck with investors, funny, i'm not too surprised, our film doesn't have enough naked girls, fast cars and chase scenes. :)  But we are getting there. C&I corporate is really helping out. We are saving cash, working hard, and we will make it happen.

Its never over baby! I just need to blog more :)

Thanks for being our friends.

2bed, 2 bath

I'm listening to: The credits of the film "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps"

I loved this film.  More importantly I love the message behind it.  ya know... all of us...really wanna be someone. we dream about it. we dream about the "what if's" and "our dreams"... "our dream moments"...we all wanna be successful... and sadly we all want money. And sure,  you say...I say..."well i don't need a lot of money, just enough to be comfortable".  Funny, if you ask people how they are doing, their response is usually based off of money. If someone is financially doing okay, they will answer with "i'm doing good, things are great"..if someone's bank account isn't so full, they'll say "yeah yeah...i don't know man...things are...whatever.  money, so powerful. we all wanna be powerful, successful, the kardashians..and entourage...90210 and madison ave.. but really, when we are quiet...none of are ready for that kind of financial success...we talk a big humanitarian game now...but what happens when 120 million dollars is deposited in your account...or 700 million dollars.... do we still drive our honda's and rent 2 bedroom and 2 baths.... or do we justify the 3 houses...and the live in chef...

we aren't ready yet...I wanna be better...I hate that kids are literally dying throughout the world...but i'll sleep good tonight..i will...and so you will you...a buddy of mind said "time flies when your having fun"... we aren't ready yet...but i know through faith, love, purpose and friends who tell you the truth, we will be.

...and where you are: project swaziland is very much alive.

Instead of a Show

I'm listening to: "For All We Know" by Further Seems Forever

hey. 

(5minutes just past)

This journey is so hard, but I adore what i'm learning along the way.  About people, about myself.  I wear it on my sleeves.  I wear my emotions in my eyes.  I'm in the airport headed back to Florida.  Standing at Gate #6.  I always fly in and out of Gate #6 in DCA….

I was on the good old Facebook page the other day, and I was looking at other peoples pages. Looking at all the "hey woah look how cool we are" stuff, "be sure to check out our awesome whatever" posts, "we are the best at what we do" updates. And it is almost always positive, upbeat, cool sounding, with a cool link. Do these companies just not struggle? Or they don't want you to think they are struggling…

Well I can't do that.  I wear it on my sleeves.  I have to be honest. I  can't post about how everything is just awesome. I can't post about how Where You Are is just so easy, going smooth.  I just have to be raw.  I don't like fake people.  I think its our worst quality as people.  You know, the people that just say whatever, just to say whatever.  Empty conversations filled with empty words.  I'm not like that.  C&I isn't like that.  When we have something awesome to share, we will share it.  When its tough, I also want you to know about it.  Cause we are doing this thing together, and know one told me about my dreams when I was growing up.  Everyone told me, go after your dreams, think about something you want to do for the rest of your life, something that you love, and do that.  No one told me about the pain, how hard it would be, the sacrifices that I would have to make.  How people don't really flock to you when things are "going well".  Following your dreams requires sacrifice.  Achieving your true purpose in life isn't a pretty romantic comedy.  But don't get the wrong idea, I'm not depressed, and I'm not unmotivated. I've never felt a fire like this ever before…but I want you to trust C&I. Trust that we are doing things differently. What other company will write on their page "we are going through some challenges, but we are working on it".  Find me one and email it to me.  I guess it appears too negative, so people stick with the the traditional, "we are doing so much awesome stuff, we are the best" type of stuff  But this way, when we do post something great, its actually great.  

In the about video that we made, I talked about how we would be open and honest with our fans.  I really meant that, wasn't just saying it cause it sounds genuine. It is genuine. Honesty isn't pretty sometimes, it sounds like an amazing character trait, but sometimes Honestly is tough, it can kill relationships, but I believe it's absolutely necessary. And the times in my life when I wasn't honest, led me to some of my darkest times. 

Always stay positive, always think about what you have, not what you don't have…those are always things that are told to me, and yes I agree. But I'm also going to tell you that staying positive isn't easy.  Shine in the terrible moments, in the awesome moments.  It's not easy. And despite all that is happening, we fight, we grow, we learn.  And the challenges we face with Where You Are will only make it even more beautiful when its done. I can't wait.  I wonder why I just don't quit sometimes, I sure think about it.  But it's because of you, its because whats inside. It's because of the few people in my life, that push me, that tell me to keep going.  Their is no fuel greater than encouragement. I got an awesome email from Windy Marshall the other day, just checking in with me to see who I was, and if there was anything she could do to help….

Fuel. 

wait

I'm listening to:"Sparks" by Coldplay

...I haven't written in a while. I haven't been able to.  Well, I'll get right to it.

We have reached a point in the project where things have gotten extremely hard, we've got some new challenges in front of us, and things are really rough. It's actually harder than its ever been before, and thats really tough to deal with.  The specifics don't really mater, we all know what its like to feel like you are going through something extremely difficult, and that is our situation right now.

I wanted to write, just to give a brief update. I'm sure people always wonder "what happened to that project".... it's alive...just hurting right now.

but, this project will happen.  When? Im not sure, but I do know that it will happen.

All for now...

It's What Inside

I'm listening to: "I and Love and You" by The Avett Brothers (my new song on repeat)


I'm not the type of person to listen to an entire album, believe me I like to, but usually I get to one track thats so piercing that I must put it on repeat. 


For the past two days we have been working pretty much every hour of the day on corporate work. Things have gotten so busy corporate wise, that its overwhelming. And yes, that is a good thing...but I'm not as excited about it as I should be, i guess


One of the hardest things for me to deal with recently is the fact that the corporate part of our business has been consuming me.  First, I'm super thankful.  Being your own boss is nifty, it does come with a strange set of challenges, odd schedule, and insane hustle, but its awesome!  I wouldn't go back to sitting in that desk, pushing those same buttons over and over again.  Looking at the clock to see if it was 5pm....ugggghh its only 1:32pm. Eat, Sleep, Repeat. 


My heart is to do my part on this earth. I don't wanna sit by watching tv shows, going to parties, watching movies, go to work, come home, a bday party here and there.   I'm here for a reason, and I want to do my part, I want to do what I was called to do.   I want to use my camera for good.  Telling the stories that need to told.  Making the films that no one else wants to make.  BUT, right now I've gotta shoot commercials...edit promos and so on...not that I don't like that, its just not as balanced as we want right now, and we are really working on that.  I wanna film the kids in Swaziland to show the kids in America.  And right now, I just don't have the resources to do those kinds of things....well its not resources at all, I do have the resources, I just don't have the money for plane tickets.  There is much that America needs to see.  There are thousands of companies that make corporate videos for corporations...C&I is so much more than that.


And its not just Where You Are, its the passion behind all the things that we do. We put up with the corporate because we know whats inside of us, we know whats driving us.  I guess if you look at that Facebook account we have you would see that we do tons of videos, work with companies a lot, promo after promo, intro after intro, round and round.  But don't get it twisted. I wish you really could understand what we are cooking in the C&I kitchen.  


And if you give me time....believe just a little harder, I'll show you that i'm not a corporate boy at all...I"m a story teller, and I tell my stories with a film camera, and I'm surround by people that have given up a lot of things, step out beyond themselves, beyond what they thought they could do, said no to  American dream, and we are all daring to change the world. and that is what we will always be about. 


Our site is a map of the world for a reason. 

I'm Better Than You

I'm listening to: "Lost Fur" by: Karen O the Kids

First I wanted to show you the Where You Are shirts that have been created by Sarah Scotti (she is the best, period) These shirts are work the AIDS walk that we are doing on March 28th. We are excited to walk with whoever wants to join us and do something different!

I wanted you to see the company that made them, because they are sponsoring the shirts as well, and Real Thread is ran by this guy named Dru, who is such a great guy. Dru thanks so much for believing in us. I can't wait to meet you face to face. Isn't it crazy how a project, can bring people together without even meeting.....think about that.  The other thing that sealed the deal for us to work with Real Thread is that the shirts are special Eco-material that is awesome for the environment.  My sister Heidi would be proud of me. Anyway, we will have a bunch of these, and if you like them, we will sell them on the Where You Are site.

To walk with us on the AIDS walk, contact Sara Shake (sara@exposedprandevents) our awesome Publicist. She will walk you through the process.

Now I'm listening to "All is Love" by Karen O the Kids ( i love this song)

I was thinking about all the things that we are doing. The AIDS walk, the Where You Are Project, The Revolt, and our entire company as a non-profit... Sometimes, I'm around people that travel the world, doing missionary work, or all kinds of probono type of work, and some people (sometimes not on purpose, and sometimes on purpose) love to make you feel like what they are doing is better than what you are doing.  Traveling to Africa and working in Uganda with children is much better and more admirable than working at UPS in America.  Sometimes, I'm around these people and they get so caught up in what THEY are doing, that they forget about what they are actually doing.  Believe it or not, some people love to travel around the world helping people just so they can tell people that they did it.   I usually end up in this debate:

I love missionaries, I think everyone is called to something special and unique.  However I see people leaving America traveling to other countries to help, and I think that is awesome!  I'm glad people are doing it.  However a huge part of C&I Studios vision is...America.  I believe that America is the country that needs the outreach the most.  A big problem I see with America is that we see what is right and wrong, and sometimes we still choose what is wrong.  Our midset, our selfishness, and how corrupt we are.... thats our mission field.  Here.  I know you guys don't know the story of Where You Are, but the film is about this American midset and how materialist and small minded we are.

And we aren't better than anyone because of this project.  Just because we are traveling to Swaziland doing this project that doesn't mean that we are better than the man that is working at UPS.  We are both doing what we are called to do.  Sure working at UPS might not be what he is called to do, but being a dedicated father, husband, and community leader might be.  And UPS just funds his dream of starting a community center, and gives him the time to be a real father and husband.   People automatically assume unless you are overseas what you are doing is pointless, and that isn't true.  Some people are called to be good fathers.  Some people are called to be Pastors in churches, or teachers in our schools.  And teaching a child to read on American soil or international soil is amazing.  Holding an orphan in Atlanta and telling her that you love her, is just as amazing as holding a child in Sudan. There is no scale.  Love knows no boundary, its doesn't grow based on your geographical location.  Love is Love.

And I know that there are countries and children that have needs that are greater than here, but don't let that dis-credit all that other people are doing here in America.  To all you good people, all you teachers, pastors, parents, foster parents, musicians...Keep doing what you are doing.  Never stop.  Do what you were meant to do, and let that love take you where ever it may take you.  This life isn't a love competition, it just life.

Thanks Freedom

I'm listening to: "The sound of the air coming out of the air thingy on the plane"

I'm listening to that, because Freedom broke my earphones.  She loves to try and eat them, and apparently Apple doesn't make them waterproof.  I would normally be zoned out listening to random music on my phone, but not tonight.  Everyone is quiet, listening to their music.  Everyone has iPhones around me, by the way.  They have made it so easy to just zone out.  You can instantly be disconnected from everyone and everything is you want to.  I feel so connected to everyone though, the plane, people. Then this guy next to me said "I'm sorry, I noticed that you didn't have your earphones in, and I was wondering if you wanted to talk?" I said "okay" (like how I say it) and we talked all the way to LA.

Ryan is cool, we talked out life, the war, bragged about our kids.  It was awesome.  He was/is in the military, I'm not sure which one, but he was cool.

I wonder how many connections and conversations i've missed out on because of this great technology, forever surrounding my life.  Funny, how people stand in line together, get on the plane sit next each other, and we don't even say "Hi" or introduce ourselves.  The waiter comes to our table in the restaurant, and we order, we don't say "Hello Sandy, how is your day going?" instead its "Yeah i'll have the chicken picatta, and can you substitute the baked potato for french fries".  Why talk to them?  It's their job right?  We are a fast train far from our rails.

Where You Are makes me hopefully that we all will be inspired to return to being real people, instead of us all trying to be these robots, who's programs and schedules are far more important than any real interaction. We are so worried about talking to people because we might "bother" them, or we don't want to be "bothered". Crazy. The first thing Ryan said to me was "I'm sorry" like talking to me was a crime.